My alarm woke me out of a deep sleep on Day Two of the AUFA’s strike. Though I had been tired after my morning shift on Monday, I wasn’t able to sleep when I got home. Instead, I spent the day listening to CBC radio and surfing the web to see what kind of coverage the strike was getting. And the results were very satisfying.
        Andrew Biro, AUFA’s chief spokesperson, was everywhere. I read his statements in the Chronicle Herald, I listened to his sound-bites on CBC radio, and I watched his interviews on CBC and CTV television. The message was consistent wherever he appeared: “This strike is about the quality of education at Acadia University.” Of course, the media focussed mainly on financial issues, as they always do, but even there we looked very good. Andrew just brought out the facts: faculty are paid at 20% below national averages at Acadia, and 6% below regional averages, all while our students pay the highest tuition in the country, and all while the faculty and students consistently win the institution a top three spot in the Maclean’s University ranking for undergraduate universities.
        Of course, there is another area where Acadia has more recently achieved national standards: on its astroturf. Well, not on it really, as the Axemen aren’t making great headway this year, but in it. The University has just given Raymond Field a $4 million dollar upgrade from real to artificial turf (apparently it’s more environmentally friendly?). So now we have the same turf as the New England Patriots and the best field in Canada. This new investment should be great for attracting student athletes, don’t you think? Of course, those of us concerned with less important aspects of university life, like academic credibility, need not concern ourselves with national standards.
        I think I can officially report that Acadia has arrived in the postmodern era. We have grass that isn’t grass, but that meets national standards because it isn’t grass. And we have professors who are professors because they have met national and international standards to get accreditation, but somehow don’t really meet the national and international standards that are acknowledged on our degrees because we live in and around Wolfville. When asked by a CTV reporter to address the fact that Acadia Faculty are paid 20% below national averages and 6% below regional averages, Acadia spokesperson Scott Roberts responded by calling into question the qualifications of the entire Faculty: “Well,” he began hesitantly, “averages are constructed…. They depend on how many of the faculty have MAs or are working towards their PhDs.” Last I checked, a terminal degree was a contractual requirement for full time work in the teaching faculty at Acadia. And the teaching faculty makes up the vast majority of all faculty.
        Did I mention that Andrew Biro did very well in his interviews. Not to undermine Andrew, but in the face of such an underwhelming challenge, it’s little wonder. Mr. Roberts would try to compensate for his lackluster performance the next day, answering questions concerning Gail’s departure to China on the eve of the strike with a brilliant repartee: “She’s available by cell phone.” Yep, that about covers it. We have a chief administrator who’s phoning it all in.

More to come….